When in Tanzania...

When in Tanzania…

During your homestay, you will have a toilet (yay!). The water will only run from 3pm to 6am. It will take you a couple of days before you learn how to flush the toilet when the water isn’t running and you will be relieved to know that you can use the bathroom from 6am to 3pm too! This lesson will come in handy at site as you will still have a toilet (yay!) but no running water. Ever.

Sanene, or fried locust heads, contain a lot of protein and should be enjoyed with your homestay brother and sister while watching the news… kinda like popcorn... except more nutritious… and with eyeballs.

Critters will come to visit. You won’t know what they are, you will only hear them rustling under your bed and in your duffle bag. If you would like them to leave, grab a stick and drag your duffle to the living room and lightly tap, or hit, said bag with said stick. You probably won’t find him but he will most likely vacate the premises.

He will, however, return a few days later and you will spend 40 minutes in the middle of the night dragging your duffle bag out of your bedroom and trying to open the zipper with a stick. Eventually the rodent will jump out at you and run across your living room. Even with your anticipation of this, you will still shriek when you see it pop out of the bag. It may turn out to be a mouse. You will spend the rest of your waking hours wondering why the cat you love so much is not earning his keep.

Every animal you see will be exponentially bigger than they are in the states. This includes wasps, toads, and spiders.

There will be spiders. They will come in all shapes and sizes. Some will crawl, others will jump, many will drown in your kitchen water. This includes the enormous camel spider. If the cat won’t drink out of the bucket, you probably shouldn’t use the water to wash your dishes.

Cockroaches, are an inevitability. They do not die and your home is their home so you might as well make friends with them. Ants are also an inevitability. They WILL die but there’s so many of them that it’s pointless to even try. Grab a broom and sweep them outside.

Mosquitos will be everywhere and your mosquito net will give you a false sense of security. One mosquito will always make it in. Your legs will consistently look like the chicken pox came back for revenge and you will itch… ALL of the time.

A chicken will crawl into your wastebin outside and get trapped. It will die but you won’t realize it until days later. You will have to bury it and it will smell. Really bad. It’s no wonder no one noticed it missing, though, there are twenty roaming around the teacher’s compound on a daily basis.

You will be asked by everyone if you have children and how your husband is doing. “You don’t have a husband? Why not? You should meet my brother.”

When traveling to the nearest banking town, you may have to wait for three hours before the first dala dala shows up to take you. You will then board the already crammed van with approximately 15 more people. The ride is four hours and you will probably stand. You will be thankful as there are a couple of people hanging out of the open door while the dala dala flies down the road full of pot holes. One more thing to be thankful for: your height. You fit perfectly in the dala… except for when the dala hits one of the before mentioned pot holes.

A dala dala will never leave for its destination until it is packed to the rim. Don’t even try to get comfortable but do try to make friends with your neighbor... they are probably extremely friendly and before too long, you may need to sit on top of them… or vice versa.

As a mzungu, or white person, it is common knowledge that you are incapable of doing anything remedial. This includes sweeping, cutting vegetables, and pouring water. When doing these things, take care… you may give the nearest Tanzanian a heart attack as they watch the marvelous occurrence happening before their eyes.

If you are white, you are automatically a comedian. Everything you do WILL be funny.

On your way to the market everyday, at least five children under the age of 6 will chant “Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!” and they won’t stop until they can’t see you anymore.

You will be told that the Regional Commissioner is coming on Saturday at 10am. He’s not. He’s coming on Sunday at noon and staying until 3:30. The school will decorate the assembly hall, cook a meal for approximately 30 people, get dressed up, and then…… wait. and wait….and wait… and wait… and sleep… and wait…. Until 4:30 when he actually does come. Everyone will cheer and sing as he drives up. Then he will give a 20 minute speech and get back in his car to proceed to his final destination in Dar es Salaam. No one will think twice about the situation or be offended in the slightest.

When you see people on the streets, you will greet them, and you will greet them for however long it takes for you to pass them. Hello, how are you, how’s your mom, how’s your dad, how’s your sister, how’s your house, how’s your goat, how’s your cow, are you feeling healthy… etc.. Most likely there will be no conversation to follow up these greetings.

Everyday you will look out your window and see beauty like you cannot possibly find in America. There will be monkeys in the trees, beautiful hibiscus flowers lining the walkway on your way to school, and cashew trees that go on for forever. You will listen to the students of your school singing throughout the day and realize how lucky you are to have this experience.

Another thing you will do everyday: laugh. With every greeting comes a smile and there is no one too busy to have a conversation with you. Even if you don’t understand anything they are saying… and vice versa.

You will find a sense of peace and calm you don’t remember ever having before and even with all the stress and the missing of family and friends, you will find yourself feeling surprisingly content with exactly where you are.

Yeah, I love it here.